i will massage women over 300 pounds

today on craigslist:

if your a women over 300 pounds and cant leave your house, i will come to you and for free, i will massage you


Such effective sentence construction! Each clause shorter than the last, creating an attractive rhythm (the way the last phrase is clipped is particularly nice) and a sense of heated urgency. Good use of the I as well, insistent, vulnerable. And isn't the use of "and" in "i will come to you and for free" kind of funny? It lets a (necessary) levity and buoyancy into the sentence. You can almost hear the voice raise when it says "and for free"--whee!